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Sky Hamster

Real name is Timmy Seedsplitter. Young Timmy is the current heir to the Sky Hamster legacy. A legacy of greatness forged through heroic deeds and microwave radiation. Timmy becomes a Sky Hamster through an ancient and sacred ritual (homeless hamsters microwave a microwave behind a Best Buy) and gains the power of short distance flight and super strength. Well, not really super strength, just a bit stronger than what hamsters are used to. Think along the lines of a really excited puppy. That level of power.

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Fly Hamster

Timmy’s half brother Tyrone Seedsplitter. He and Timmy have the same father but Tyrone doesn’t have the potential to become a Sky Hamster, despite being born before Timmy. Tyrone decides he no longer cares about the legacy or his family’s expectations of him and sets forth to become a pimp. His goal is to fully control the hamster fuck market on the east coast.

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Rufus Seedsplitter

Rufus was the previous Sky Hamster. He currently lives in retirement from his years of service and spends his time being a Scottish alcoholic. Due to the microwaved microwave radiation needed to awaken a Sky Hamster’s powers, Rufus has cancer. Such is the fate of all Sky Hamsters. He spends his days drinking heavily and trying to teach his boys about the proud legacy of the Sky Hamsters.

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Professor Baby Cat

He’s just a little baby cat. He just runs around doing baby cat things. He’s a baby kitten kitty cat!

Baby Cat is dumb as hell and very accident prone. He means well but accidentally does a lot of really horrible shit. Things like creating a race of violent ultra rapey cactus monsters on the moon. That sort of thing.

Baby Cat specializes in chemistry, which is one of the biggest mistakes in the history of everything. He really should not have graduated college and he definitely shouldn’t have been given a PHD. He’s just so god damn stupid! How the fuck did he even get into college let alone graduate?

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